Writing this while somewhat drunk in order to help ease my anger and stop me from crying as I write this. But my parents just got out of bankruptcy about a year ago, and were able to erase their debt and start anew. My mom was relieved and ready to build herself back up again, however my dad from the getgo was always “eh, if we get into debt again we can just file again.” My mom saw that attitude as a red flag but for a whole year they did great. What’s the catch you ask? Well both my parents are unemployed, dad refuses to ever go back to work and got his doctor to write him off as permanently disabled due to his weight and depression so he gets disability income but its very low. My mom is depressed and just doesn’t want to look for work, I think it’s because she’s pissed that my dad isn’t working and she doesn’t want to be the one going to work and bringing the money home, but I think she has issues that she needs to see a therapist for, but so does my dad. (that’s a whole other story)
Anyways, fast forward it to now, and I found out that my dad received a package today for a brand new computer that he bought. Mind you, my dad doesn’t even have the money to buy groceries so he bought himself a computer?? My mom told me the brand and I looked it up, they’re all over $2,000. Not only that but he bought my mom an iPhone 12 for Christmas and she was so upset and told him she didn’t want it. He got pissed off and defensive when she asked him how he got that and he told her it’s none of her business and that he took out a line of credit for it. Now my dad is back into debt after doing so well for a year, my mom is devastated, I’m devastated, my brother doesn’t care. My dad’s disability income is so low, they can barely afford their current mortgage and utilities. I’m so depressed and upset now because I don’t know what to do and can’t stand to see my dad constantly be so irresponsible and pretend that everything will be okay. I’m trying really hard to not let it persuade me into negative and potential harmful thoughts (towards myself,) and the thought of even having to help them when I know my dad will just use me and my money to his advantage causes me to be even more upset and depressed. My therapist tells me I shouldn’t have to help them because my dad will never change, and I try to believe that, but am I to honestly watch them go homeless? However I realistically can’t afford to pay my bills and theirs.
Sorry for my long rant post, I’ll take any advice I can or any sort of justification that it’s okay for me to not help them. Does anyone else deal with the same family issues as me? If you do, how do you handle it? Thank you for reading, and happy new years.